I need to be true to my authentic self. I always feel like I'm not good enough to have someone in my life. It's my ego getting in the way. My fat has been a protector of me for so long... and maybe it has been a protector of other people too.. to make them feel better than me. My fat is a barrier that insulates me from getting hurt. I am going to start reaching out to make connections to people. I am going to show people the real me.
It's fine to have friends online, but I also need to have friends offline. I do want to be a size 10 or a size 12, but that isn't my main goal. My main goal is to break out of the fat that has held me back for so long. I don't need to lose the weight to feel good about myself, but I do need to lose the weight so I won't be held down or held back.
I want to set an example for my daughter also. I want to lose the weight. Maybe when I start getting smaller than my daughter, maybe then she will be motivated to lose weight also.
I'm thinking about my daughter's father. It makes me sad that he seems to hate me. It makes me sad that he chooses to make me the bad guy when there is really no bad guy here. We both went on with our lives. Part of me wishes that we could have stayed together, but things were so bad I had to leave that marriage. It makes me sad that I have never had a forever marriage, till death do us part. There's nothing I can do about that now... all I can do is make the the best version of myself as I can.
I want to be me! I want to know who the real me is. I want to also have money to buy a car with also. Each month I will put away some money for purposes that I need it.. for my glasses and for a vehicle. The first thing to do is to just keep saving money. Save for the sake of saving, and make a vow not to spend it on other things... save until I have more than enough for what I need. Borrow from myself when I need to, and not borrow from a finance company again. Get S & S paid off and not go there again.
My weight loss journey will take me places that I have wanted to go for a very long time. I don't know where I am going, just yet.. but I know that I'm going on a journey.
How do I feel about Kevin? He is part of my past. I needed him to feel good about myself, but I don't need him anymore. I will rely on myself for happiness, and let the people who love me give me their love also. I will start making people my priority... make them feel good for being with me. Meet their eyes, and know I am good enough to see them eye to eye.
It's fine to have friends online, but I also need to have friends offline. I do want to be a size 10 or a size 12, but that isn't my main goal. My main goal is to break out of the fat that has held me back for so long. I don't need to lose the weight to feel good about myself, but I do need to lose the weight so I won't be held down or held back.
I want to set an example for my daughter also. I want to lose the weight. Maybe when I start getting smaller than my daughter, maybe then she will be motivated to lose weight also.
I'm thinking about my daughter's father. It makes me sad that he seems to hate me. It makes me sad that he chooses to make me the bad guy when there is really no bad guy here. We both went on with our lives. Part of me wishes that we could have stayed together, but things were so bad I had to leave that marriage. It makes me sad that I have never had a forever marriage, till death do us part. There's nothing I can do about that now... all I can do is make the the best version of myself as I can.
I want to be me! I want to know who the real me is. I want to also have money to buy a car with also. Each month I will put away some money for purposes that I need it.. for my glasses and for a vehicle. The first thing to do is to just keep saving money. Save for the sake of saving, and make a vow not to spend it on other things... save until I have more than enough for what I need. Borrow from myself when I need to, and not borrow from a finance company again. Get S & S paid off and not go there again.
My weight loss journey will take me places that I have wanted to go for a very long time. I don't know where I am going, just yet.. but I know that I'm going on a journey.
How do I feel about Kevin? He is part of my past. I needed him to feel good about myself, but I don't need him anymore. I will rely on myself for happiness, and let the people who love me give me their love also. I will start making people my priority... make them feel good for being with me. Meet their eyes, and know I am good enough to see them eye to eye.
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